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3 Steps on How to Start Healing Your Feeling of Disconnection and Loneliness

If you are really honest with yourself at this moment and are willing to take a look inside, can you feel a feeling of separation, of disconnection? Usually, women describe this by saying, I feel disconnected and not whole. And always, feeling of being disconnected is accompanied by the feeling of profound loneliness. Many have been living with this feeling of not connected practically all their lives. It is a constant companion and therefore, it’s always there in the background. It may be subtle, in the background, hardly noticeable, or it may be profound and strong. Or you may not be aware of any pain whatsoever, and you will describe this feeling as something else.
Which one describes you?

Let me assure you, this pain of disconnection is real and it hurts. People just cope with it in different ways to the best of their awareness and ability.
The majority simply don’t know what this pain is all about and how to get rid of this for good.
There are 3 ways of how people cover up the pain. The first way:
1. So they suppress this pain or they cover it by being busy, turning to their work or business, believing that the feeling that propels them to achieve more, to do more, to accomplish more, to overcome, to overrun, to overachieve. Unfortunately, even the greatest business success will not remove the inner pain of disconnection.

2. The second way to cope:
People are actively seeking pleasure of 5 senses to override the inner pain with entertainment and pleasure. After all, our human side wants to survive, to avoid pain and to find pleasure. And the pain of disconnection is real and it hurts emotionally. To satisfy the 5 senses with pleasure, one will seek delicious food and a lot of food, one will drink alcohol socially and might become an alcoholic, one will seek a lot of sex, bodily pleasures, and generally, any known addictions can be used to ignore and not feel this inner pain.

3. The third way of dealing with inner pain of disconnection: Many believe that the great romantic relationship is the answer to their disconnection and loneliness. This is the wrong assumption. As many have already found out, no relationship, not matter how great it is, can remove your inner pain of disconnection. Because it is simply impossible. Lack of relationship or lack of a great loving relationship is not your problem. So getting into the relationship and even getting into a great loving relationship will not solve this inner problem either.

Yet, at the same time, many subconsciously search for the answer, without even knowing what they are searching for. They want to remove this pain of separation, the pain of feeling disconnected. But they are not fully aware and they don’t know how.
Neo in the movie Matrix was searching for Morpheus, but when Trinity appeared in front of him, she helped him understand that he was not searching for Morpheus, he was searching to understand what Matrix was all about. Neo wasn’t aware of the Matrix, but subconsciously he was searching for the answer on how to find his freedom from the Matrix.

1 step: Identify your own feeling of disconnection. Do you feel it? Is it there? Do you feel not whole somehow? Do you feel disconnected? Do you feel lonely? Do you feel anything? Is it really not there at all or you just don’t want to uncover it?

2 step: How strong is the feeling? Is it profound? Is it medium severity? Is it mild? Is it non-existent?

3 Step: What would you call it? Is it some sort of a void? Is it just pain? Is it a black hole of some kind? Is it emptiness? Is it a feeling of dissatisfaction with your present life or some area of it? Is it a pain of loneliness? Is it an urge to achieve more, do more?

4 step: Before you find the solution to your pain, you must know exactly what this pain is all about. What exactly you are disconnected from. Can you guess?

Here is the answer. This pain of disconnection and separation is the pain of disconnection from the Divine. There is no conscious, lasting connection that you are fully aware of.

This pain of disconnection comes in different shapes and forms, various levels of severity, depending how much you remember spiritually, how much you are aware of who you are and how much you’ve been able to cover it up during your numerous incarnations. But the pain is there. And this pain is real. In many, this pain fuels anger with God. But they are not even consciously aware of it either.

One of my clients came to me for spiritual work. This client is very accomplished in both areas: the material world and the spiritual.
This client is a millionaire and a general manager of a multimillion business. And she has been on the active spiritual path since she was 7 years old. First, seeking religious knowledge, then spiritual, she had already studied with big names in the self-help and spiritual industry. Then she came to me, to get to the next level. So this client is an accomplished woman as can be. And still she had been aware of this feeling of disconnection inside for the longest time, despite her actively seeking spiritual development.

She told me
“I thought I knew myself. I could meditate for hours. But I was never satisfied long enough, asking myself “Was there something wrong with me?” I kept searching. Every new spiritual class I took, I hope it would reveal the answer. I would feel whole.
Going to church, singing in a choir, listening to lectures didn’t help me connect to God. The classes were spiritual, but they gave me only intellectual knowledge. No matter what I would do, I didn’t feel connected, didn’t feel whole and I never felt enough.
And now I understand a connection to God is not an outside job, it’s an inside job.”

My client had to go within, find out who she really is and only then she could fully connect to the Divine and make this connection permanent. She now knows who she is. She feels whole and connected to God on a very personal, intimate, and deep level.

She said, “I know who I am now. I am not worried that I am not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty enough, and too old. I am calm, satisfied and deeply connected.”

Feeling of disconnection, separation and as a result, loneliness are real and this pain won’t go away until you address it. This is the exact pain that propels people to look for answers, even though they usually don’t know what they are looking for.

I have addressed the importance of the spiritual wealth in your present incarnation in my previous videos. Well, the spiritual wealth begins when you consciously find the way to connect with the Divine truly on the feeling level, on the inside, not intellectually. Unfortunately, accumulation of intellectual knowledge often leads to the feeling that I know it all now. I am very connected because I know. But knowing about the importance of connection is not the same as feeling connection on a very deep level. When the pain leaves and the feeling of satisfaction replaces this pain.

On my own spiritual journey and in my work with clients, I have observed an interesting timeline.
1 stage – not knowing about the Divine at all. Or not believing that the Divine exists. This stage is not prevalent in the US, where almost everyone believes in Higher Power, in God. But I came from the former Soviet Union, where religious was prohibited, and we were taught that “religion is the opium for the people,” (a famous Soviet motto) and that God “doesn’t exist.”

When I came to the United States, I moved to the next stage pretty fast.
2 stage – the intellectual knowledge of God. I woke up to God’s existence. I started believing in God. And I started learning as much as possible about spiritual workings of things. That’s the religious knowledge of God. On this stage, people often don’t believe that we experience numerous past lives, that we are bound by the cycle of incarnation and the cycle of karma.

3 stage – Intellectual knowing about God but on the metaphysical or spiritual level. By that time, the person usually left the organized religion and is in pursuit of spiritual knowledge on her own. The awareness opens to the reality of past lives, understanding that we are not alone in the Universe, that God is love and He doesn’t punish, and so forth. However, the understanding is still an the intellectual level.

4 stage: Knowing the Divine on the feeling level. This stage doesn’t happen overnight. And this is where the full feeling of connection and unity happens. It becomes permanent. This connection gets deeper and more profound. And of course, there is no limit to how deep and how profound this true connection to the Divine can be.

It’s never too early or too late to become aware of your pain of disconnection and making your intent to release the pain for good by making the true connection with the Divine a reality.

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